Worst Pickup Lines Ever – Use These If You Want to Be Alone ForeverSunday, December 8th, 2013
There are just some really bad pickup lines that you should never, ever use no matter what the situation. Some people think they’re being funny by using these overly crude, corny and outdated pickup lines, but the truth is, you’ll wind up either alone, with a drink in your face or laughed off into a corner.
So, do yourself a favor and don’t use any of the following (or any variation of them) lines EVER:
- They call me Milk because I do a body good.
- Did it hurt? (She asks, what?) When you fell from heaven?
- If you’ll be my Dairy Queen, I’ll be your Burger King; you treat me right and I’ll do it your way.
- I wish you were one of those carousels they have outside of Wal-Mart so I could ride you all day for a quarter.
- You might not be the best looking woman in this joint, but beauty is only one flick of the light switch away.
- I’m missing a tooth but that just means more room for your tongue.
- Your panties would look great on the bathroom floor, want to see?
- Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call her if I ever saw an angel.
- Great legs! What time do they open?
- It must be your lucky day because out of all the beautiful women in here, I chose you.
- I don’t have any secret cameras in my bedroom so it’s okay to come back and do things you thought you’d never do. It won’t end up on the Internet.
- I bet you $20 you can’t turn me straight.
- You look like a Princess Jasmin. Come rub my lamp and I’ll show you a whole new world.
- Damn baby, do fries come with that shake?
- You must be jelly because you sure ain’t jam!
- Sorry, I thought this was the men’s room, but since we’re here and we’re alone, what do you say we make the best of an awkward situation?
- Breathe if you’re horny for me… yes! Now, let’s go back to my place and I can fix that by making you breathe harder.
- You’re like my dog in the hallway, I keep falling over you.
- I don’t want to date you, I just want to grease up your thighs and make love to them.
- You’re way hotter than my ex.
- I might not be the most handsome guy in here, but I’m the only one that’s paying any attention to you.
- I’m like Fred Flintstone: I can make your bedrock.
- All of my ex-girlfriends were completely satisfied with my sexual performance; they all left me for other reasons.
- Can you tell me how to get in your pants?
- I’ll give you $50 to sit here and talk with me for an hour.
- I wrote a book on my penis last night and if you come over to my house, I’ll put the words right in your mouth.
- I’m the biggest lady-killer in Los Angeles since O.J. Simpson.
- If you were a real woman, I’d so have sex with you right now. Does that make me gay?
- I prefer my women like I prefer my peanut butter: extra-chunky and stuck to the roof of my mouth.
- Are you free tonight or will it cost me something?
- I heard from my friends that you’ll bang my grandfather while eating cat food and singing Barbara Streisand songs. How much is that going to be?
- Ready or not, your pants are coming off in ten seconds. One… two… three…
- Want to cock my shotgun?
- Did you know that a spoonful of sperm only consists of two calories? Are you on a diet by any chance?
- I put the STD in ‘stud’ but I still need U.
- Come here and sit on my lap. We’ll talk about the first thing that pops up.
- (To a woman with kids) Hey, hey mother. Let me know if you want another.
- Your face or mine?
- (When asked for a match) My face and the area between your legs. Now, did you want a light as well?
- I’m not a gynecologist, but I’ll take a look.
- You’re the type of girl I’d take home and not introduce to my mom. Seriously, do you mind sneaking in a window?
Finding Out the Art of Seducing and Picking Up Women
So, now that you know what not to say when you’re trying to pick up women, it’s time for you to learn what you should say. There are many different schools of thought out there about what works and what doesn’t for women, but the one that has the best success record is a simple Tao (or mindset) that concentrates on turning you into a “badass.”
To find out more click here and become a badass with the ladies in no time.
ps. If you have some other really bad lines you’d like to share, please feel free to tell more about them using the form below…
More pickup lines:
- The Ultimate Guide to Pick Up Lines
- Funny Pickup Lines for Guys to Get the Girl
- Working the Room with Cheesy Pickup Lines
- Crude Pickup Lines that Will Arouse her Sexuality
- The Best Way to Get a Woman is with Sincere Pickup Lines
- Weird and Creepy Pickup Lines to Avoid if you Want to Score Tonight
Other related articles: