Ask any woman the top qualities they’re looking for in a guy and one of the top three answers will always be, “I want someone who can make me laugh.”  Of course they do; who doesn’t like to laugh.  So, why not start out making them laugh from the moment you meet them with these hilariously funny pickup lines.

  • I’ll give you just three more seconds to give me your number or you can forget about going out with me forever.
  • If a fat guy comes along later and puts a sack over your head, don’t worry – I just told Santa what I want for Christmas.
  • See my friend standing over there?  We have a little bet going on.  He wants to know if you think I’m cute.
  • Excuse me, I’m taking a survey for my Zoology class and I’m asking around to see if people know how much a polar bear weighs.  (She says she doesn’t or fathoms some random guess).  You don’t? / No that’s incorrect.  The answer is ‘just enough to break the ice.’
  • (Shorter alternative to the one above for loud bars)  Polar Bear!  Huh?  Oh, I just wanted to break the ice.
  • I’m going outside to make out… care to join me?
  • Aside from being sexy, just what is it you do for a living?
  • If you were a book you’d be so hard to read because all the print would be so fine.
  • Hey, did this pickup line work?
  • All of this could be yours for just one-time payment of a smile.  Welcome to The Love Connection!
  • Hey, sorry to bother you but I was sitting here early and lost my conversation.  I was wondering if you found it.
  • Good news: the test results came back and they’re negative.
  • Hey, somebody farted; let’s get out of here quick!
  • The name’s Right.  Mr. Right.
  • Hello, I suffer from amnesia.  Do I come here often?
  • I think my medication just wore off.
  • I can tell your fortune (take her hand and write your name and number on it).  Your future is so clear!
  • You must be Jamaican because “Jamaican me crazy, girl”!
  • I might not be the best looking guy in this place, but looks aren’t everything, right?
  • There’s something wrong with my cell phone and I noticed you had the same one.   I was wondering if you could take a look.  (Hand it to her.)  It doesn’t seem to have your number in it.
  • Well, here I am!  So, what are your other two wishes?
  • My magic watch says that you’re not wearing any panties.  (She says, “It’s wrong” or “Yeah, I am.”)  Damn it!  It must be fifteen minutes fast!
  • Screw me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met somewhere before?
  • Did you know I’m invisible?  (She says, “I can see you.”)  Great, how about tomorrow night at seven?
  • (Check the tag or clothes label on her shirt or dress.  She asks, “What are you doing?”)  Sorry, I was just looking for the ‘Made in Heaven’ label.
  • Damn!  I’m so glad I’m not blind!
  • Do you have any almonds?  (She says, “No.”)  Then how about a date?
  • This pickup line could go horribly wrong but at least you’ll have something later to laugh with your friends about.

What if These Funny Lines Don’t Work?

If these aren’t cutting it for you or if you’re not the pickup line type of guy, you may want to click here to learn more about the art of attracting and seducing women.

ps. If you have some great lines (or other attraction tips) you’d like to share, please feel free to tell more about them using the form below… :)

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